Find Your Connection Again.
You're looking at that picture up there and rolling your eyes, aren't you? Yeah, that makes sense. Pictures of happy couples feel pretty trite sometimes. That's just not reality. Things in your house have gone a bit further than squabbles over the dishes now. Things are hard. Really hard.
Whether you are fighting with your partner all the time, feeling distant and lonely, or dealing with infidelity, there can be hope again. You had that connection once, and you CAN find it again. Emotionally Focused Therapy is a highly researched method of working with couples experiencing disconnection and crisis.
If you or your partner are feeling nervous about being blamed, hear this loud and clear: I do not take sides. In fact, that's a false narrative that we tell ourselves when we fight. Your partner is not the bad guy, and, more importantly, neither are you. Rather, the enemy is the cycle (or negative spiral) that happens between you.
ABOUT THE THERAPY PROCESS
We will start off in the first session beginning to hear from both parties where you get stuck in your relationship. After the first session, each partner will attend a one-on-one session, giving a bit more space to understand each perspective. After that, all sessions will be together.
We will continue to meet about once a week, depending on the level of need. During the first part of therapy, we will work on identifying that nasty downward spiral that happens between you. We might even give that cycle a name, like the cyclone, or the big bad wolf. Slowly and safely, we will start understanding the triggers and underlying emotions that are happening for each of you.
After a while (maybe a long while), you will notice that you and your partner are fighting less. It's ok at home. You can communicate basic needs and you can both tell when that big bad wolf is taking over. At that point, it may be tempting to quit therapy. But let me tell you... this is where the magic happens. At this point in therapy, we will work to look at underlying attachment longings and fears, and expressing needs to your partner.
Have you seen those super happy old couples that just cant stop smiling at each other? That's what you want. And I can help you get there. We will go slowly and safely, and I will guide you every step of the way.
WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
YEG Family Therapy is an inclusive practice and welcomes all kinds of couples, including queer couples and Christian couples, and even queer Christian Couples.
In order to create and keep safety in the counselling sessions, it's important that you not keep secrets that drastically effect the relationship. For example, if you tell me in your individual session that you have a honey on the side that your partner doesn't know about, and you don't plan to stop the infidelity, that's something that is counter-acting the central purpose of therapy.
Finally, other than your two individual assessment sessions, individual therapy isn't available concurrently with couples. While you are in therapy, your relationship is the client, and seeing one or both partners separate from that could create bias. If it seems like one or both partners could benefit from individual therapy, you will be connected with another therapist from my network of experienced colleagues.